My present day self has 12 bits of advice for my child self

  • Nothing you can do (or be) can (or will) make you lovable other than being wholly yourself.
  • Even "wrong decisions" are correct because you will learn from them. You can't ever have enough information. Plus, you'll find you had no clue as to what would actually happen. So choose as best you can and move forward.
  • Don't hesitate to step away from a bad situation even if you don't know what comes next: what comes next will reveal itself.
  • Your idols have fallen arches and bad breath. But they are wise.
  • Speak your truth.
  • Your opinions are correct. And they are apt to change.
  • Before you run from or avoid people who scare you, take a good look. Who are they really? What are you really afraid of?
  • Don't spend a lot of time planning for, or worrying about, what will probably never happen. You will survive. You will land on your feet. Wounds will heal, or you'll accommodate.
  • Ask for help. People are happy to offer it.
  • Acknowledge when you messed up. You'll feel even better than if you hadn't messed up in the first place.
  • "You spot it - you got it": not always, but more than you expect. Assume it's true until proven otherwise.
  • If your choices arise from avoidance (of pain, sadness, loss, grief, hurt, etc.) you'll miss out on the good stuff (love, joy, exhilaration, laughter and, yes, tears).

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